It’s a world filled with constant drama and conflict. There is not a day that passes where we do not hear of the latest “issue” on the news or on social media. Whether its world news, local, celebrity, or reality TV, we are guaranteed to be able to locate some form of drama from our entertainment sources as well as in our environments.
While I can deal with the social media and entertainment drama, because I can just turn that off if it becomes too much to mentally process, my patience is low for the “people drama.” You know, the drama that our friends mix up, family dwells on, and of course the drama that we put together in our own mind and actions too. These are the types of drama that are very difficult to get away from and are often all-consuming because it involves the people we interact with the most.
When we are not intentionally behaving and thinking in ways that promote peace, then we will be attacked by “people drama” as our thoughts become hijacked and negative emotions are triggered. The drama seekers are unaware that they are caught up in never-ending cycles of conflict and chaos, and they unintentionally (well, for the most part) involve us in the spewing of their drama venom. We have to take control over the information we are receiving, and either accept or deny the invitation for drama, otherwise we will be blindsided by the aftereffects.
If we do not actively seek peace in our live, we will find our peace taken away, due to our distraction.
Family members can be notorious for this. Everyone has at least one family member who is all about drama and conflict, almost as if they were created for it and their sole purpose in life is to make everyone a target of their messiness. This person very rarely if ever, has a positive thing to say about anyone, is very judgmental, disregards the positive energy and attention of others, and feeds off of being critical and overbearing in their choice of words and actions. They are also “emergency driven” and everything is absolutely urgent as if they are dying
at this moment of thirst and hunger. Despite all of this drama seeking, (as if it’s not enough) they also expect our full attention when they call us, and cannot understand why we aren’t as upset or concerned about the conflict as they are.
Our friends are also sources of drama. Even the best of friends are sometimes those who wear us out because they are so filled with chaos. They are like balloons that are being popped ALL THE TIME. Every little thing sets them off, and they are quick to call us up to unload about something that we may not even have a clue about, or know the people who are involved. Their social media platforms are a hot mess, because they do nothing else except chase and monitor the latest gossip, conflict, and drama. Their relationships with others are also disastrous, as they cannot seem to act in any compassionate way or keep things straight with others. They are two-faced, petty, vindictive, and can even be hostile at times. But they are still our friends, and we love them, so we do all we can to keep it that way. Even putting up with the constant crisis of the day.
Those drama seekers…
There is no way to escape the drama surrounding us. We cannot run and hide. Even if we did, the drama and the people would find us, unfortunately.
As I mentioned, we have to learn to be intentional about guarding our peace. The peace of mind, thoughts, and emotions that only we can govern. The calm environment of our homes and lives. Our ability to smile despite our worst challenges. The peace that gives us hope to keep going on with our daily lives when we feel defeated.
We have to guard this peace with a force field that blocks out as much negativity as we can prevent.
Even though at one point or another we will have to deal with some drama and uncomfortable situations, we do not have to deal with every…single…one. Fact is, much of the drama we find ourselves caught up in had nothing to do with us from the very beginning, instead we inserted ourselves, (hiding behind our good intentions) into the drama that other people
as adults need to manage. We convince ourselves that we are doing some noble duty by helping someone navigate some mess that may not have anything to do with them either. But we are deceiving ourselves and instead make our already complex lives even more complicated and even more stressful by diving into DRAMA, CHAOS, CRISIS, and ISSUES that we do not have to party with.
Come on now, you know what I’m talking about here. We hear of someone’s troubles and we jump right in to fight the battle with them. This is fine sometimes when help is truly needed, but NOT ALL THE TIME. When we find that we are sending out life supports every time and for every person who comes calling, and it is zapping us of our peace, then we need to reassess if we are doing too much for the drama seekers. At this point, our saving technique may be out of balance and we are the only ones who can gain control over it.
Unless, you truly enjoy being the drama warrior of all time.
The way that we think about drama and conflict is key to proper management. Some drama and conflict can be healthy and will promote growth for all parties involved. On the other hand, there is drama and conflict that is absolutely unnecessary and can become a trap filled with negativity, with no end in sight. How can we tell the difference? If the issue appears to have a real solution that we can help with or provide some advice, great, go for it. But if the drama is unending, we have heard it before, there is likely nothing that we can do but feed into it, and we are simply TIRED of dealing with the drama and the seeker, then we need to let it go.
Establishing boundaries may be useful during these situations, as well as blatant ignoring of the drama and conflict. Yes, I said ignoring. If that friend or family member is calling and you’re certain that they’re on their typical rampage, ignore the call! Send them a text that you are busy and will get back to them later. I promise that they will call someone else to unleash the venom, and then the other person can figure out if they want to be the drama warrior or even become a drama seeker too! You can gracefully bow down from this position, if you want to.
We have a choice when it comes to those drama seekers who are demanding our attention. It is our choice to engage (or what level of engagement) we decide to provide. If this connection is stealing our peace, leaving us all rattled and irritated, then engaging with the drama may not be the best use of our time or energy. As we learn more about the people and things around us that provoke negative thinking, it is important to begin making proactive-actions when we are confronted by them. Negative thinking or feeling is not the result of anyone, or even our circumstances, it is about how we are experiencing them. So, we need to make changes.
There is nothing or anyone that should have dominance over our thoughts and emotions, as we need to take responsibility for the ways that we think and feel.
If you are engaging with drama, be prepared to think negatively. If you choose to remove the drama, then you can expect to feel some peace and have the energy you need to focus on other areas of your life (that are much more important anyway).