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3 Reasons to Avoid Forcing Anything

There are so many pieces of our lives and experiences we wish we could change. If we had a magic wand, we would probably wave it around all day, changing several undesirable outcomes, and magically making things happen that simply haven’t or aren’t even supposed to. Yes, those things we want to experience in our […]

7 Ways to Get Different Results

“If you want to experience new or different results, you must be willing to do something different”. I am not sure who to credit for this quote, but I have heard variations of it throughout my life and it has always stuck with me. Similar to exercise and nutrition, if we want to see changes […]

Who and What Are You Invested In?

Most of the time when we think of investments we think of financial products or increase. Stocks, bonds, financial portfolios, and banking products are all things that we typically “invest” our money into. But what about other investment opportunities, such as investing in ourselves, our lives, or in others? Investing in ourselves is a critical […]

3 Common Ways We Sabotage Our Own Future

It is easy to place the blame for our life choices and the circumstances of those choices on other people, on our “less than perfect” childhood, and current situations that are outside of our control. While these things certainly have an impact on who we are and our future, we must be careful to avoid […]

Quit Moving Backward Instead of Leaping Forward

Life consists of time, and our existence is based on the past, present, and future. Many of us live our lives in the past, believing that our best days are behind us and if we keep those memories alive then we will be happy. Others live in the present, believing that the past is behind […]

Stop TALKING about it and PURSUE

There is procrastination, and then there is complete bluffing. You know those people (it can sometimes be us, too) who talk and talk about doing something but never put any action with it? The conversation becomes draining as we hear the same things over and over, along with various excuses supporting their decision to not […]

5 Common Myths About Putting Yourself First

What comes to mind when you think of putting yourself first? Hopefully it is a positive image of taking good care of yourself and living your best life. However, it most likely involves thoughts of what and who you will have to sacrifice in order to put yourself first. Socially, we hear that putting ourselves […]

Facing Adversity Vs. Self-Infliction

Life is hard, and it is easy to place the blame for our misfortunes and challenges on life’s circumstances. There are times when this is accurate, as life does bring us situations that we never planned for and cannot seem to manage. However, there are other times when we are the cause of our challenges, […]

How Procrastination Can Ruin Your Life

Procrastination is commonly defined as the action of delaying or postponing something. How often do we do this everyday? We know that we should be getting things done, addressing our challenging situations, and making changes to our lives in some way, instead what do we do?We delay it altogether, or even to the point of […]

Never Underestimate Quality Time With Your Children

If you have kids, care for kids, or just have some of these adorable younger relatives in your life, you want to spend time with them. You want to make memories with them and enjoy watching them grow. You want your time and efforts to be meaningful. But how can we accomplish this in this […]

3 Alternatives for Unsolicited Advice

Even if you do not have a lot of friends, there are still enough people in your life who constantly offer their advice for how you should live YOUR life. For some reason, people always seem to have the best advice to provide for another person, but cannot use the same advice to improve their […]

Positive Thinking is Not a Guarantee for a Great Life

How many times have we read or been told that if we just think positive, everything will be fine? How many times have we actually accepted this advice, and things still didn’t work out the way we desired? Even though thoughtsrealigned is all about improving the way we think about our experiences, positive thinking isn’t […]

The Exhaustive Energy of Rejection

Everyone is told NO at one point or another in their life. Most of the time when we hear it, we don’t like it. There is a nagging, defeated, and negative energy that has attached itself to rejection. Most of the time it doesn’t even matter what type of rejection we have experienced, we often […]

If You Read One Article About The Cause of Stress Read This

We all want to know where stress comes from, and how to avoid it. We search for answers from everywhere: family, friends, online resources, books, speaker series, faith/religion, social media, and of course self-medicating tactics too. But we often come up empty-handed…even more stressed because we cannot pinpoint where our stress is coming from. Stress […]

Do You Have A SuperHero Complex?

Are you living life at a break-neck pace, jumping from one activity to the next, without a pause?  Do you feel obligated to fulfill the unrealistic expectations of others?  Are you completely physically (and possibly emotionally) worn out, but you just drag on each day because this is “the right thing to do?”  Is your […]

The Obstacles You Face Establishing Boundaries

Living a healthy life is so much about the choices we make, the people we surround ourselves with, the passions and activities we pursue, and of course the boundaries we establish along the way which make it possible to live our best life. If boundaries are so significant, then why are they so challenging to […]

Don’t Hold Back On Your Fight For Peace

If you are waiting for everything in your life to be easy or stress-free, stop waiting. It is time to get real about life by being realistic about your expectations. Shift your expectations and start focusing on your current perception of your life, then you can experience more inner peace, even when things are not […]

Useful Strategies for Managing Anxiety

That feeling of doom, despair, and hopelessness. The thoughts that torment us and leave us feeling uncertain even about aspects of our lives that should be certain. The swirl of emotions and fear that seem to be consuming every piece of joy we ever had. The physical discomfort, the stomach ache, headache, fatigue, and nausea […]

5 Stereotypes Preventing Your Happiness

Everyone has their own definition and standard for happiness. Some people believe that only special circumstances will provide unlimited happiness, while others believe that isolation from everything will produce the satisfaction they desire. To each, their own, right? In fact, there are many things in life that will provide a sense of happiness, but most […]

Ways to Improve Self-Esteem

Our self-esteem is tied to our peace and overall happiness, and if we do not monitor our esteem levels, before we know it, they are so low that it feels impossible to recover. Many self-help books, magazines, and even websites just like this, are filled with strategies and advice to improve and maintain high self-esteem. […]

Your Power Lies Within Your Choices

Power is an illusion. In many situations, we deceive ourselves into believing that we have power, or even control, when in fact we do not. While we do have some authority over our lives, we do not have control over the things and people we often think that we do. Do you think I may […]

Seven Easy Rules For Using An Apology

How often do we apologize? How often do we hear someone apologize? Do you ever wonder if an apology is even necessary? Our interactions with others are filled with reasons to rationalize our actions, even apologize for inappropriate behavior or mistakes made. But what is the purpose of an apology, and is it overused? According […]

An Everyday Example of Perspective

There are several body parts of our vehicles that are designed to help us drive safely. We have the rear-view mirror, the side-view mirrors, and of course the windshield, windows, and rear glass parts as well. Without these components, our drive anywhere could be very dangerous. For our purposes, let’s focus on three main pieces […]

It’s Not About You

We internalize the actions of others. We often think that the choices other people make, or the way that they regard us, are always about something we have done wrong. The reality is, most of the time, the behavior of others has nothing to do with us. We aren’t talking about situations where our behavior […]

Taking Comfort in Saying NO

If you are anything like me, you say yes a lot. People ask for your time and you want to be nice, so you say yes. Demands are placed on you, and we willingly accept although we know we are already functioning at full capacity. When we are asked if we are doing ok, feeling […]

Dancing with Patience

Many things in our lives do not happen as fast we would prefer. We set goals that we think should have been accomplished by now, we have relationships that are somehow stagnate or haven’t advanced, our kids are either growing too fast or stuck in a cycle that seems never-ending, and of course our jobs […]

Everyday Is An Opportunity

We are often waiting for the perfect time to do something, change something, or include someone. It’s as if we do not realize that everyday we wake up, is an opportunity to begin moving toward the things and people we want in our lives. Instead, we live in the past, the yesterdays, where we mistakenly […]

Why No Relationship Will Complete You

Relationships are often about fulfilling a need. Well, at least this is how they are often demonstrated or advertised. Then it is all much different when we actually enter into a committed relationship. We quickly learn that our needs are not always met, their needs are not always met, and there is conflict along with […]

3 New Year’s Resolutions To Help You Live a Better Life

As we approach another new year, resolutions are floating all around. Some people want to exercise more, others want to start their own business, and still others want to make changes to their relationships. All of these things are great personal goals, but what about the internal changes that we could make as a new […]

Live Today Like It’s Your Last

Each day we are alive and breathing is a blessing. Although we tend to take each day for granted, and assume that the next day, week, month, and year are guaranteed, they are not. We only truly have the present moment. We never know when our time will expire, so we need to begin living […]

Quickly Reboot Your Mind and Emotions

Our mind could be compared to an intensive computer programing system. Although we are definitely not software systems, the delicate functioning of our mind and emotions require a reboot or reset sometimes. Picture an overloaded computer, or even your phone. When too much data has clogged up the system, or if some foreign virus has attacked it, […]

The Balance of Working Hard Before Playing Hard

It’s important to have fun. We all need to take time to enjoy life and all the great things about it. If we just focus on working and forget to take time for fun, we run into living a life that is unbalanced and can even become unhealthy. This is often what happens: we get […]

The Exhausted Parent: Ways to Cope

How many parents are feeling worn out and exhausted? Feeling like you never get a break and your kids consume your life? Well, you aren’t alone. Every parent goes through these emotions at some time or another. Parenting is similar to any other part of our life that we are fully committed to, where we […]

Top 5 Causes of Holiday Stress

So many of us face anxiety and uncertainty as we approach the holiday season, and for many reasons. Regardless of your religion or cultural background, the holiday season can be a time of stress for many people, all who wish they could completely avoid the entire months of November and December. Considering that we cannot […]

Beware & Be-Aware of Your Perspective

The way we think about our life events and experiences is everything. If we perceive something to be negative, it very likely will be. If we believe the best in someone, even if they do not meet our expectations, we are able to think positively about them and have hope in their behavior. Our perspective […]

5 Myths Uncovered About Your Feelings

Our feelings are one of the most spontaneous parts of our mind and behavior. One minute we feel one way, and the next hour we feel the opposite. It is also hard to estimate the way we might feel about any particular situation or circumstance, and it is even more difficult to predict how we […]

Overwhelmed?

Have you been feeling like life is too heavy? Is there too much going on all the time, and you seem to have too much on your plate? Do you feel weighed down and unmotivated to get things done? These are emotions often linked to feeling overwhelmed, which is likely the result of two things […]

Giving Your Seal of Approval for Mistreatment

The type of treatment we receive from others is a strong indicator of what we agree to accept. When we allow people to mistreat us, disrespect us, or disregard our feelings, we are actually making this behavior and treatment acceptable, approving it. If we want to receive more respect from others, and experience more self-respect […]

3 Unexpected Ways Patience Can Make Your Life Better

Do you consistently use patience? Are you typically a patient person? Is patience a strategy for you on a regular basis? It is ok if you said no to all of those questions, because we all struggle with having and using patience. Patience is useful for enduring many of life’s challenges, but it is often […]

7 Sure-Fire Positive Thinking Strategies That Work!

There is positive thinking advice everywhere, from tv to social media, and from well-meaning people. But how do we know what is really good advice and tools that might work for us? Are there secrets to this positive thinking thing? Does positive thinking success even exist? Many more questions come up than answers when we […]

Why Comparing Will Make You Question Everything

Competition is everywhere. We are always faced with looking at what other people have and are doing, including the things we may want to do or statuses we want to reach. Healthy competition can be good to help us strive for more, a way to motivate us to move out of our comfort zones. But […]

You Can Survive as a Single Parent and Stay-At-Home-Mother

Yes, there are many stay-at-home-mothers (SAHM) out there, and there are many people writing about the ways to stay sane while being home with your kids, ways to stay motivation, and ways to stay balanced when you are home all day. But what about the single mama’s who are also SAHM? I am one of […]

Self-Confidence is Golden

I feel like a million bucks! You look like a million bucks! How often do we say these things or hear them? And when we do, we do feel like a million bucks! We feel so high on life and whatever current moment we are in, that almost nothing could bring us down. What we […]

3 Ways to Conquer Frustration

Frustration is a very common emotion. When all of our efforts and desires appear useless against the current outcome, we can easily become frustrated. Life challenges are real and arise often as we feel pressed with completing life goals, stress with having and maintaining healthy relationships, anxiety surrounding other areas of our life where we […]

Trust, Doubt, and Over-Thinking

We hover in-between constant states of trust and doubt. Sometimes we fully trust someone or a situation we may be in, and other times we completely doubt the individual or the outcome. This is a natural part of our human nature, but is one that can drive us (and everyone else) crazy if we do […]

Embracing Changes

Change is constant, and is happening all around us, all the time. The landscape of our cities and streets are filled with construction signs as new roads are paved and neighborhoods change into the more modern examples of living and styles. Rules change, situations change, and most of all people change. But are we accepting […]

Define Your Own Standards

Whose standards are you living up to? How do you define the goals and standards that you hold for yourself? Are you able to set your own standards, or do you go with what seems popular or acceptable? Are you comfortable with who you are as a person? Are you satisfied with the way things […]

The Drama Seekers

It’s a world filled with constant drama and conflict. There is not a day that passes where we do not hear of the latest “issue” on the news or on social media. Whether its world news, local, celebrity, or reality TV, we are guaranteed to be able to locate some form of drama from our […]

Complicated Advice

How often are we quick to provide advice or encouragement to someone in need? We have a friend who is really going through some things, and we are able to provide support for their challenge. But do we use the prescribed advice we give to others, for ourselves? Do we consider acting on the great […]

The Monday Blues or Blessing?

The Monday morning blues. The Sunday night insomnia worrying about the Monday morning blues. Then the actual Monday anxiety and dread as you get ready for your day. Many of us experience this “Monday Despair” in some way, and it seems to happen every single Monday. We enjoy our free time, time away from work […]

Open the Window

When the air seems stale, we open a window to catch some natural air and to release the affected air. Spring, Fall, and cooler summer nights allow us opportunities to air out our home. We can feel the cool breeze move through the house, and we can also feel the calming energy of new air […]

Silence Speaks Volumes

Although using our voice may have a tremendous impact on everyone around us, not using our voice can also have the same, or even more influence, on our situation and interactions with others. Our mouths are sometimes too quick to respond, not always connecting with our mind first, and we get ourselves in trouble by saying […]

Complacent Thinking and Living

When we become satisfied with aspects of our lives that we can and should push ourselves in, we fall into the trap of complacency. This is a dangerous place to be in many situations because it gives us permission to stop striving for more and to avoid opportunities to make ourselves better in many ways […]

Use The Back Burners

Most stoves have a minimum of four eyes, or burners. When cooking you can navigate four different pans with four types of food at once, or you can just use two, most often the front two burners. Cooking our food all depends on several factors, such as: what we have on the menu, how much […]

Why Did You Quit?

As I watch my one year old son learn to walk, I can see him take steps and then fall down. Then he gets back up and takes a few more steps, and falls again. He does this all day. Sometimes he resorts to crawling because it’s easier for him to do, as he has […]

3 Reasons That Saying You’re Busy Is An Excuse

You’re busy, right? Have a lot on your calendar this week, month, year? Just don’t have the time? When anyone asks more of you, you quickly respond with your various reports of busyness, too much to do, and not enough time. Well, saying that you’re “too busy” is an excuse. Yes, I know you’re thinking, […]

Are You Spinning In Circles?

Days, weeks, months, and years are just flying by. You can’t remember the last time you carved out time for yourself. Most of the time you feel overwhelmed and unfulfilled. You are on your feet all day every day, act as a superhero to everyone around you, and you aren’t sure about much of anything […]

Best Ways to Provide Guidance for Our Older Children

As our children mature and age, our style of parenting should also change to help support their new development. As the mother of a one year old and a 19-year-old, I can reflect upon the different parenting styles I have utilized with my adult vs. toddler sons. The difference is important so that our older […]

Unlock Your Mind

There are patterns of thinking and living that we all become accustomed to experiencing. Routines, schedules, calendars, alerts/notifications, and email/text reminders are all part of our daily pattern. The patterns we accept and commit to indicate the type of people we are and the nature of our priorities. In order to be sure that our […]

The Breakup Hurts

Experiencing a breakup? Is the relationship that you thought would last forever, now over? Are you feeling dazed and confused, unsure how to pick up the pieces? Breakups are common, and especially in love relationships. Of course, many of us have experienced the hurt of separating from a loved one. Someone we gave our heart […]

Words to Encourage

5 Steps to Identify a Crisis-To-Crisis Mentality

How much of your life is focused on crisis? I am not referring to crisis that are out of our control, circumstances that blind side us and have a major impact on our lives, I am talking about the crisis that we continue in our mind. The type of crisis living that keeps us operating […]

Your Relationship With Yourself

How would you describe the relationship you have with yourself? Would you define it as good, or not so much? Do you struggle with your self-esteem and self-worth? Are you happy with your physical and mental features? What about your thoughts, emotions, and actions; do they help build a healthy relationship with you? Yes, this […]

Learning With Your Children

I remember being pregnant with both of my boys and wondering just how my much life was going to change. How I would manage to keep up, and how I could possibly care for this new little fragile person.  I also wondered if I had what it takes to be a parent, and a good […]

The Use of Stupid Comments

Some of the comments that come out of the mouths of people around us are quite irritating. Fact is, they really piss us off. How or why someone has to say something without being considerate of others is the sort of thing that causes physical and verbal fights, the ruin of relationships, and of course […]

De-Clutter Your Mind!

Clutter is part of our daily existence. We never seem to find enough time to keep every area of our environment (home, work, car, school, etc.) spotless. Things pile up, and they can get messy if we do not stay on top of our chores. I know I am guilty of a messy garage or […]

Waiting is Not Idle Time

What do you think of when you picture someone–or yourself–waiting? Do you see sitting still, boredom, or even frustration because waiting is most often the denial of something we want NOW? Here is the actual definition of waiting, according to Merriam-Webster online dictionary: To stay in a place until an expected event happens, until someone […]

Major Realignment

Thoughts + Emotions = ACTIONS ~thoughtsrealigned

3 Tools for Single Parents

As I single mother, for the past 20 years, I want to give some encouragement to my co-single parents out there. It’s never easy, you don’t get vacation or sick time, and it’s easy to feel overwhelmed or frustrated when much–or all–of raising your children falls on you. I have two boys, my oldest is […]

What is Negative Thinking Really Costing You?

It is easy to think in pessimistic ways, to always see life as impossible and defeating. There is no shortage of media, personal beliefs, music, written material, and of course actual people to remind us how tough life really is. Fact is, the main purpose for creating this site and writing these articles is to […]

Small Realignment

Choose to think positive. Period.

Do You Have a Good or Bad Child?

Parents hear all the time that their baby is either a “good” or “bad” baby. This label follows our children all the way through childhood, where specific characteristics imply that a child is socially acceptable or a complete social rebel. But is there really such a thing as a “good” or “bad” baby? If your […]

Are You Drowning in Negativity?

Take a close look at the people around you and the environments you frequent. Is there a common theme of negativity? Are they constantly having discouraging and defeating conversations? Are family and friends encouraging you in your time of need and rejoicing with you when you succeed, or the opposite? Do you feel heavy and […]

Small Realignment

Just like we can only be disappointed by our expectations, we can also be disappointed by not having any expectations. ~thoughtsrealigned

Disappointment and Expectation

“We can only be disappointed by our expectations.” This is one of many things I have learned from one of my mentors. Over time, I have found this to be accurate beyond belief. There are so many things to be disappointed by in this life. We can even create things and anticipate disappointment, assuming that […]

Small Realignment

We have been socially conditioned to believe that we can move faster than one day at a time. ~thoughtsrealigned

Childlike Experiences

Have you ever seen a baby stressed out about their life? A toddler who hates getting up in the morning because they have to play with those toys again! Not likely. Sure, young children experience stressors, but mostly because of the demand to have their needs and wants met. They are not stressed in ways […]

Small Realignment

Our feelings are not always telling us the truth…so do a quick check-in with your thoughts. Negative thinking = Negative feelings. ~thoughtsrealigned

Small Realignment

Our seasons in life are just like seasonal weather…they both will pass, in time. ~thoughtsrealigned

Do You Have a Morning Routine?

What do you do in the morning? Is your introduction to the day mostly moaning and groaning about even having to get out of bed? Are you irritated and crabby, over-tired, stressed about your daily responsibilities, or just want to stay asleep? Or are your mornings pleasant and peaceful, with appreciation for the new day […]

Small Realignment…

Your thoughts and feelings are not permanent… ~thoughtsrealigned

Fear of Failure

Failure is part of living, part of our existence, and is proof that we have experienced some challenges in our lives. Unfortunately, many of us shy away from trying new things or setting new goals because we become afraid of failure. We do not want to feel rejected, or unsuccessful. But, we have to accept […]

Small realignments….

Your circumstances do not have control over your thoughts. Aim for optimism, no matter what comes your way. ~thoughtsrealigned

Small Realignment….

Negative thinking is a learned behavior. ~thoughtsrealigned

Living While Grieving

I lost my Mother this past March. A sudden and unexpected death, she died from a massive blood clot that found its way to her heart and lungs. Everyday that has passed by since that day has been challenging, even feeling impossible to cope with. There are so many things I remember about her that […]

Relationship or Just Passing Time?

Are you in a relationship? I’m not talking about the one where you are seeing someone but it’s not “official”. I’m also not talking about friends with benefits. I’m definitely not talking about your dating situation that has carried on for months with no commitment in sight. I am referring to an agreed upon, mutually […]

Small realignments….

Do you believe that your thoughts have power? ~thoughtsrealigned

Creating Goals

As a part two to my initial post, Goals, now let’s talk about getting those brainstorming ideas transformed into some realistic goals, along with a plan of action! Determining what we want to do with this short life is challenging, to say it mildly. We are confronted by so many avenues and paths that can […]

Tune Out the Noise

The voices of people around us are often much louder than we realize. I’m not talking about just volume here either, I am talking about impact and influence. Their voices can be heard in our thoughts, our sleep, in our interactions with others, and in the middle of our life planning. Whispers of judgment, criticism, […]

Small realignments…

Does it ever really FEEL good to think negatively?  ~thoughtsrealigned

The Snowball Effect

When we are thinking, our thoughts build upon other thoughts. So, if we are thinking about what to eat for dinner, we then start thinking about what we may have a taste for, then we think about if we feel like cooking or eating out, and then we think about what we want to drink. […]

Goals

When we think about our lives, are we thinking about just the daily activities, or are we thinking about the long-term pieces? Yes, we can only live in today, physically, but why not do some planning for our future to help make our tomorrow’s even better? Sometimes just creating goals can be overwhelming. We are […]

Small realignments…

 What are you thinking about right now? Is it positive?  ~thoughtsrealigned

First Things First

When it comes to relationships, we tend to place a lot of responsibility on the other person. They are often given a tremendous amount of responsibility, with maintaining our happiness as their expected “job” duty as our significant other. The problem with this job description is that it is truly impossible to fulfill. Nobody that […]

Something to rethink about

“Take time to tune up and realign your thinking, just like you would for your car when it’s running poorly. Better yet, realign your thoughts before the breakdown…thought maintenance…” ~thoughtsrealigned  

The One Year Old

Having a baby has so many rewards, and so many challenges, all in one, each and every day. They smile at us and simply adore us (for the most part), they play endlessly (especially when its nap time), everything is exciting and new for them, and they are just so cute, cute, cute! But how […]

Loneliness is a Choice

I have a good mentor who told me many years ago that, “loneliness is not the absence of affection, it is a lack of direction”. At the time, I wasn’t really sure what to think about her statement, or if I even believed it to be true, because after all, isn’t loneliness exactly that: an […]

THOSE Days!

You know those days where everything seems to go wrong, and everyone seems to be against you? Those days when all of your efforts seem meaningless and you cannot see success in anything you are working toward? Those days when feelings of defeat, discouragement, frustration, and even anger seem dominant….yes, THOSE days! No matter who […]

Every Thought is NOT Our Own

While it may be logical to think that whatever thought comes into our head, are thoughts that we must entertain, this is false. Our thoughts are often random, with little ration or reason behind them. Have you ever wondered how you began even thinking of a certain thought? When did you become frustrated or angry? […]